YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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