3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think i have herpe
just one?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
