I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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