He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
