Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How's work?
Spinning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
