We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
sex in a hospital.. check
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
