Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the raccoons are back...
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