That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You took a bar mat shot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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