A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need water and some morals
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
