Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
