it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
