They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
