There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
