I got chris browned last night
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize