ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
