So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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