i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
