but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
kristin has been a bad kristin
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
