We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
