He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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