that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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