Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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