So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize