Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
