My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
