I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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