By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
