Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize