I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
