My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
