Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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