so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
