Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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