Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
