I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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