Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
