how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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