Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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