Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
