I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
