Screwed.edu
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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