Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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