OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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