I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish you could order shots online.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
