you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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