Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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