fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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