I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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