Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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