none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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