When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
