We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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