I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
