So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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