I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
