you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
