Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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