glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
