On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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