I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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