You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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